Still, all adults are doomed as fresh meat. And this chicken nugget virus can only be spread to those who haven’t hit puberty. The kids pass each it on just by touching each other, true to the film's name. The girl from the opening credits is a student in his class, and when she attacks a punk kid named Patriot (who was born on 9/11, one of this dark comedy's only good jokes), all zed hell starts to break loose. Seuss from Hell moment is about the peak of memorability for this particular zombie adventure, which then follows Elijah Wood's burned-out writer now-substitute teacher Clint, on a fateful day back to his old elementary school.
In a gripping opening credit sequence, we see the step-by-step process of a nugget's creation, beginning with the ominous killing of a chicken: its initial mashing into the form of goop, as then turned into glop, breaded, and then hoisted in nugget-form into a little girl's mouth, where she bites into it and some gray pus pops out. In this horror comedy directed by Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion, the original carriers for the corporate oopsie-daisie virus are chicken nuggets. Finally unleashed onto limited theaters and VOD after premiering at Sundance in 2014, “Cooties” is a midnight movie for those fine with dozing off about twenty minutes in, once the charm of its single sentence log-line has worn off.
Thanks to “Cooties,” we're now ready for ravenous elementary school kids tearing up human flesh during recess, although without much imagination from this script as to how this course of events, or its morbid goofiness, would ensue. Should our multi-media, multi-decade fascination with zombie apocalypses ever prove as actual forecasting, the various fictional tales about this horror phenomenon should have us prepared for any scenario.
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